I love The Onion…haven’t read it too much lately, but this is good…

Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to ‘a possible threat of terror and fright,’ Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject to random bag searches this Halloween season.

‘Individuals concealing their identities through clever disguise, and under cover of night, may attempt to use the unspecified threat of ‘tricks’ to extort ‘treats’ from unsuspecting victims,’ Chertoff said. ‘Such scare tactics may have been tolerated in the past, but they will not be allowed to continue this Halloween.’

While he would not elaborate on the specific threat, Chertoff said his office had ‘heard a couple spooky tales,’ and indicated that there was good reason to believe that Americans face ‘a very ghoulish scenario’ this October.

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